Money,the root of all of my problems

I have a wonderful life. I have four beautiful, well-behaved children, a wonderful suportive husband, and a nice home in the states. My home is not expensive and does not abound with interior decorator style, but I think I have made it pretty nice. I enjoy decorating and I have done what I could with the money that I have had available. "Money I have had available" is the key phrase.

I have not had an enormous or even piddly amount of avaiable money. My checking account is usually overdrawn and I can't go buy new makeup or clothing whenever I want. In fact I can never buy those things without taking it out of the budget from somewhere else. I wanted to change that for my children and my husband and myself. I went back to college to get my degree which started out as an education degree so that I could teach. The problem was that I was going to have so much debt that I would not be able to pay my student loans back on what I would make as a teacher. So, I began as a biology major (again, my first love and major). I had chosen not to do biology b/c it requires so much extra time out of class. Most of the medical school prereques were the only classes I lacked for graduation so not only did it allow me to do what I wanted to do when I was little girl it also allowed me to graduate two years earlier than an education degree would. Little did I know at that time that teachers would suffer the greatest job loss they had seen in decadeds. It was nice to know that I was not trying to get a teaching position at that time. In my excitement to get started with medical school, I began looking into medical programs and how to apply, etc. Imagine my surprise when I learn that I have to pay 255 dollars to take the MCAT. Then imagine my surprise when I realize that I also have to pay 160 for the first medical school application and 60 for the rest AND that they will most likely all send me a secondary which will ask more questions AND cost me 75-100 dollars more. Then I read that Kaplan suggests you apply to ten or twenty schools if your GPA isn't stellar (3.5-4.0). I am a mother of four children with bills to pay and my husband has a great job but it isn't THAT great of pay.

I couldn't afford to do pay that for medical school applications. There was no way. OH. I forgot to mention that most applicants use Kaplan study prep and that course is $2000. Again out of the question.

So I apply to caribbean medical schools. Most of which do not have federal loans. Most of which in fact have no loan program. Then I come across ____ which has a loan program although it is not Federal funding it could work in my somewhat desparate situation. The medical program is comparable to the states and the campus was beautiful. I was super excited to begin my term at ____.

I was accepted to a preview semester where I would have to pay my own way, but I could take online master's class to help with living expenses and my husband could help with incidentals along the way. It would seem that everything was going to work out.

Until yesterday, the school announces that the previous loan program is not an option. I was a little panicked. Ok, I was a lot panicked. So now I will have to work with the directors to come up with a creative way to finance my time here or return home and use the davenport living money to help me take the MCAT and apply medical school.

____ has been very helpful in working with me and speaking to me. I know that this situation is absolutely the worst for them as well. This semester was pegged to be the biggest class of students enrolled and without loan money some students may plan to wait which . . . well you get the point. . . . it isn't a good deal for anyone.

So now I have to study. I am going to try to do my very best on the tests that I have on Monday, but with all of this stress these may be my lowest scores yet which would cause further insult to injury.

If I had a million dollars I could fix all of my problems and my life really would be something to envy. I would donate the left over after funding my family's education, oh wait there would be nothing left over if I paid off all of my student loans and my husbands and put back money for all of my children.